Maya has been sick, and last night we both had a terrible night. She didn't want to sleep without me by her side. So I slept by her. She kept waking up and waking up, and so she would wake me up too. I had my alarm set for 5:20 so I could go running. I decided to skip my run because I was really tired, maybe it wasn't the best thing to do. Running always makes me feel better. It helps me get rid of stress and gives me energy. I will definitely go for a run tomorrow; I am thinking 6 or 7 miles.
I hope my little Maya feels better tomorrow. I hate it when my little ones get sick! But I am grateful to be able to cuddle with her and care for her.  

Thought this was funny, it made me laugh.

Dear Mami Geña,
I have been thinking a lot about you the past few days. I am sorry I wasn't able to be there for your funeral. It hurts me to be so far away. My grandpa really misses you, he said that after all of my uncles return to the States, he will really feel lonely. You went so fast, but it was the best thing. Mom said you were really suffering.
 I been trying to really focus on the good things you did, and forget about all the negative ones. Today driving home from school I remembered how you gave shelter and food to a homeless man until he passed away. I believe this man lived in your little ranch for a long time. You took him homemade meals every single day, and I truly admire that. I also remember how you adopted a child and raised him like your own, even though your family already had many financial struggles.
Last time I saw you, you were really sweet to my family and I. You cooked me my favorite meal, pozole. No other pozole compares to yours. Phillip agrees with me, he said your pozole was the best he had ever tasted. I really want to apologize for not calling you on the phone like I should have done. My heart aches because there is nothing I can do now. I know how nice it feels to hear from family, and know that somebody is thinking about you. I know you are now gone, but I promise to call my grandpa more often.
I am also glad I copied these pictures of you and grandpa. Now, I can keep them forever and show them to Maya and Addison, and tell them about you. 
Grandma, I love you and I will continue to have you and grandpa in my prayers.   

Visiting Family

 We spent Saturday in the L.A. area visiting my cousin Deisy, her new baby, Jason Alexander and Tia Maria, her mother. We had a great time. They are fun people to be around. I am glad we were able to go. Tia is a great cook, she made the most delicious chicken enchiladas. Maya got to ride a quad and life was good for her. Addison was fussy, she had a slightly elevated temperature. She did good even though she was feeling crummy. I had the chance to have a great conversation with my cousin and best of all I got to hold her 1 month old little one. We had a good time. I love them, so I really hope to see them soon again.

I don't feel like myself right now...there is an emptiness in my heart. I found about your death earlier this evening. My mother called me to informed me that you had passed away. Grandma, we didn't have a great relationship. I don't have many happy memories with you. I never understood the reason behind all your actions of hate. I don't need to understand it. I know we are all imperfect. I know that God loves you no matter what, and I should love you too. At this very moment I wish we would have had a better relationship. I wish we would have baked bread together. I wish you would have taught me how to cook your delicious Pozole. I wish we would have gone for walks together, or just talk outside your patio. I wish I could have spent the night in your home and have freshly baked cookies with milk sitting right next to you. I wish so many things. But your time here on earth is gone. I hope I can see you again someday, because your life is not over. Your body is gone, but your spirit still remains.  I pray that your spirit might be at peace where you are right now. I am grateful for the opportunity I had to see you last summer; it is a good last memory of you. I want to thank you because you made it possible for me to have the father I have. You contributed to my existence, for that I am so thankful. Today I have learned that life is too short to hold on to negative feelings, I am so sorry for that. I promise to forget and forgive. I really want to just feel pure love and I promise to work on that. Until we meet again. 

Her 8th Month

Dear Addison Victoria,
You have been with us for 8 months (17 total for me). During these 8 months we have grown to love you so much. You have been a special addition to our little family. I love everything about you, even your emotional side. I love it when you smile at me, and when you let me hold you so tight I can hardly let go. You love books, I mean you love to look at books and chew on them too. You also like to go outside and look at your surroundings. You are hard to feed! You have to be in the mood for solids, but I understand. There are certain things that I have to be in the mood for too. You sleep really good, you only wake up once during the night, sometimes twice (not very often). I like to go in you room before I go to bed and look at you and your sister. You both look beautiful when you sleep. You and Maya make me feel like the luckiest woman on earth. I love being your mom! You are such a special spirit. I feel of God's love every time I get to hold  you first thing in the morning; you lay your sleepy head on my shoulder and I personally think that it is the cutest thing ever. I know I am not a perfect mom, but I want you to know that I am trying to be the best I can be for you. Thank you for choosing me to be your mother :)

Love,
           Mom

Pirates...

that's what we will be for Halloween. We have Maya's costume, it looks like this:

Addison will be one of these two, I don't think we have decided.

I will go for this look. I hope I can find everything. I have the boots, pants,blouse and I still need to find a vest  and possibly a hat, but most likely I will use a scarf. I also have jewelry that will go perfectly with the costume. Phillip will be working and that makes me sad, I wish he could get all dressed up with us :(

All this pirate talk made me hungry for some Pirate's  Booty!

I have been waking up at 5:30 to put in my runs. When I leave my house it is dark outside and I can hardly see. I run on the side walk for safety, and I am always vigilant of my surroundings. I make sure there are no cars when I am about to cross a street. I think I am very careful while running, but today I was about two feet from getting killed. I waited for the light to turn green and when it did I started running, all of the sudden I heard a loud honk and my instinct was to stop. A guy  ran the red light and just missed me by a couple of  feet. He was driving FAST. I know Heavenly Father was watching over me this morning, and I am so grateful!