Friday, August 15, 2014

Don't Even know where to start

This is a very personal post for me. I decided to write to let it out of my chest. I have been struggling. As a teenager in high school I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety. My dad searched everywhere to get me right medical help. We did, but even with the medication I had no desire, no ambition. I felt as if I was in a deep, dark whole and I was most certain I wasn't going to get out of it. Then I turned to God for help and he turned my life around. I was able to conquer my illness and move on with life. I met Phillip and he gave me the extra push and drive to get better. I completely recovered and was good for about 7 years. Then it came back. I recently found out that indeed depression is in my family. To say that this feeling is overwhelming would be an understatement. All I want to do is sit on the couch and do absolutely nothing.

I tried to think what triggered my depression. I think I except too much from myself in every aspect of my life, being a mother, keeping the house clean and organized, being socially active, play dates, fitness (will explain more), being a wife. It all might sound like a cake walk for most people, but as for me all those little things added up. I should have know better and seek help when I noticed the early symptoms. By the time I went in I was an emotional wreck.

I was able to get some medication to help through this and I am so glad I went in. I know that most people can't understand what depression is. People may think that one can just snap out of it, but it doesn't work like that.

Update October 8:
I am doing so much better. I am only taking one medication instead of three. I don't like to take meds but they were necessary for my well being and for my family's as well. If I wasn't good I could not care for them. I decided to stop taking the other two meds slowly and my body has been doing good for about 2 weeks.

I am so grateful for the support Phillip showed up to me during those difficult and challenging weeks. He was my rock, he will always be my rock. 💜😃🌞🌈🌻

Monday, June 30, 2014

Pijama Party with Kenzie

 I had forgotten about these pictures. The girls had a great night and Maya sure wants to do it again. These girls are so cute to watch, so dramatic and funny. Maya told me the other day, "Mom, do you have a girl friend? I do, her name is McKenzie."


 As the Elders Quorum president of our ward, Phillip was able to attend a meeting three weeks ago. He came home feeling spiritually uplifted and I could tell he had a great experience meeting an apostle of God. Phillip I admire you, and your dedication to the church makes me love you even more. Thanks for being a good example to me.



I MADE JAM FOR THE FIRST TIME. I think it turned out well for being my first time.

Saturday, June 7, 2014

Water Balloon Fight

Kenzie came for a playdate and the girls had so much fun. They were not happy when Janna, her mom came to pick her up. Later that day we decided to invite her for a sleepover. I will post pictures of that later.
Some of the things we did:
-went for a walk
-water balloon fight
-jumped in the pool
-played dress up
-read books
-made crowns
-made candy bracelets
Kids are so fun, but also very exhausting. :p

Barnes and Noble

It is my goal to read at least three classic books to the girls this summer. We picked Pinochio, A Little Princess and Peter Pan. We also had a collection of classic fairytales with 15 stories. The girls and I started with A Little Princess and so far Maya and I love it. It might be too much for Addi but I will continue to try. We are signing them up for the Kern Library Summer Reading program and at the end of the summer they get a book and some goodies. I can't forget the ice cream party at the end.