There are so many things I need to work on as a mother. I realize that I am not the most patient of mothers, I like to have a clean house and I like my daughter to behave. If you have a kid then you know what I am referring to, kids like to play and make messes and they don't listen all the time (specially when they are 17 months old, they don't know what they are doing). Right now I am struggling...I love my family but it seems like it is always a challenge to be in a good mood 100% of the time. I am very irritable and I get upset for the stupidest things. I know my daughter won't remember if there were durty dishes in the sink, she will remember important things like me playing with her or teaching her new things.
Yesterday, we got back from a week long trip to Mexico and I was feeling really exhausted. I missed my period and didn't know what to think about it. We took a preg. test and it came out positive. I didn't know if I wanted to cry or smile. I want a family and I know Phillip loves kids, but inside of me I wasn't ready for the 2nd one. I struggle with school as it is. I am trying to get in the Dental Hygiene program and all I could think of was how challenging it is going to be to attend school. I know I can do it, is just that I wish I could dedicate more time to my family.
I am sorry for posting this, I just needed to do it. Share your thoughts with me, I need advise. I want to be the best mother and wife I can be.
1 comment:
Oh Erika....if only I had to perfect advice to give. I struggle too, it seems like all the time lately. I feel so blessed, and then I feel "bratty" for being human when I am so blessed. Just remember God is patient with us, much more patient than we are with ourselves as we take on "life". Congrats on the pregnancy! I don't say that to make you feel bad, just know that I think you are a great mother in spite of your perceived weaknesses. Pray to God, let him know your emotions and thoughts, ask Him to help you see His will in your life. Through the quiet whisperings of the spirit, and the quiet moments that you strive to make in your very hectic life; the answers will come. Then peace will come as you strive to do His will, not yours. I love you. I will include you in my personal prayers because I understand how it is to struggle...Thanks for sharing, sometimes it's for others, but sometimes it helps to just let it out for the writer, if you know what I mean...Good-luck and God bless.
Post a Comment