Almost 1/3 done

This little one in my uterus has been baking for almost 1 trimester. I get very anxious, I feel like time goes by so slowly. I am trying to enjoy every single part of pregnancy, the nausea, the varicose   veins (they are starting to burn and hurt) that are all over my right leg; the acne all over my face, shoulders and back, the mood swings, the chubby looking belly, Maya rubbing my belly all the time and expressing how excited she is to have a little brother so she can play prince and princess (we don't know the gender yet, she will be happy either way), being able to keep my running, and the list goes on.  I am so thankful for my easy pregnancies. I realize a lot of women have it really hard when they are pregnant, mine are probably a cake walk. This might potentially be our last pregnancy and I want to have good memories of it no matter how much or how little I am struggling. Some days I find my self being so positive, sometimes I find my self thinking negative things that just ruin my heart. I am not perfect. Sometimes I feel like I am selfish. I was expressing to Phillip how I feel like I have had to put a couple things on hold that are special and important to me, school and running a marathon. My time will come, and I always pray for Heavenly Father to help me be patient and enjoy where I am right now, to love my life now and to love myself now. I am not perfect and sometimes  I have my bad moments when I think so little of myself. But then I remember how divine and special my jobs of mother and wife are. I have the opportunity to teach my children. I am home to cook meals for them and my husband and sit with them at the table, say prayer and eat together. I am grateful I can watch the girls play with each other and develop their friendship; I can make sure the girls' teeth are clean, that they have bed time stories every night, and I can count on a good night hug and kiss from them. These little every day things are so important to me, they really are. I want my children to remember those little things later on. And I hope they forget the bad ones when mom just completely loses it. I just realize this post is all over the place. At first I was just thinking of writing a little something and posting a low quality picture. Oh well, I guess I needed my therapy.