I don't feel like myself right now...there is an emptiness in my heart. I found about your death earlier this evening. My mother called me to informed me that you had passed away. Grandma, we didn't have a great relationship. I don't have many happy memories with you. I never understood the reason behind all your actions of hate. I don't need to understand it. I know we are all imperfect. I know that God loves you no matter what, and I should love you too. At this very moment I wish we would have had a better relationship. I wish we would have baked bread together. I wish you would have taught me how to cook your delicious Pozole. I wish we would have gone for walks together, or just talk outside your patio. I wish I could have spent the night in your home and have freshly baked cookies with milk sitting right next to you. I wish so many things. But your time here on earth is gone. I hope I can see you again someday, because your life is not over. Your body is gone, but your spirit still remains.  I pray that your spirit might be at peace where you are right now. I am grateful for the opportunity I had to see you last summer; it is a good last memory of you. I want to thank you because you made it possible for me to have the father I have. You contributed to my existence, for that I am so thankful. Today I have learned that life is too short to hold on to negative feelings, I am so sorry for that. I promise to forget and forgive. I really want to just feel pure love and I promise to work on that. Until we meet again.